Unability to sleep, self talk, and a whole serving of paranoia. This gets me everytime I feel alone in my life.
Why does everybody have to rely on time? Why does time supposed to state what we are and what we will be? Why do I have to keep fucking over thinking things that would just put the world on my back and will fail to carry? Why can’t I just be perfect, and not make mistakes I didn’t mean to do? Why am I in the middle of the dark and the light? This is all bullshit, I am a big mother fucking disappointment and fuck whatever. I don’t have enough hope for myself.
I’ll be holding your hands and see your beautiful face but would never be able to ask these plethora of questions. Will I see this past of who you are? Am I stopping your growth as a person? Must I accept the fact that too much love can kill us both? Do I love enough? Or do I love too much? Am I doing the right thing? Am I thinking too much?
I’m scared. I’m paranoid. Why must love be like this, putting me in a rollercoaster ride? I think I know everything, that I can handle everything smoothly. Look at me now, without even a clue of what to do except to keep on going.