Unability to sleep, self talk, and a whole serving of paranoia. This gets me everytime I feel alone in my life.

Why does everybody have to rely on time? Why does time supposed to state what we are and what we will be? Why do I have to keep fucking over thinking things that would just put the world on my back and will fail to carry? Why can’t I just be perfect, and not make mistakes I didn’t mean to do? Why am I in the middle of the dark and the light? This is all bullshit, I am a big mother fucking disappointment and fuck whatever. I don’t have enough hope for myself.

Too much love for my heart to handle

I’ll be holding your hands and see your beautiful face but would never be able to ask these plethora of questions. Will I see this past of who you are? Am I stopping your growth as a person? Must I accept the fact that too much love can kill us both? Do I love enough? Or do I love too much? Am I doing the right thing? Am I thinking too much?

I’m scared. I’m paranoid. Why must love be like this, putting me in a rollercoaster ride? I think I know everything, that I can handle everything smoothly. Look at me now, without even a clue of what to do except to keep on going.